


This To Remember

by the_secret_wordsmith



Series: Wolfstar Comfort Mini-Fest September 2020 [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Canon Compliant, Drabble, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, Originally Posted on Tumblr, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:29:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26559745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_secret_wordsmith/pseuds/the_secret_wordsmith
Summary: Sirius Black awakens on a sad anniversary with terrible memories. But Remus reminds him that there are happy things to remember too.[For day one of @swottypotter 's Wolfstar Comfort Mini-Fest and originally posted on tumblr 19/09/2020.]
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Wolfstar Comfort Mini-Fest September 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1931587
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	This To Remember

**Author's Note:**

> For Day One of @swottypotter 's Wolfstar Comfort Mini-Fest. The theme was "an anniversary".

Sirius woke up on the floor of Buckbeak's room. His shoulder ached from where he'd been lying at an awkward ankle and he groaned. The hippogriff nosed him gently as he slowly stumbled to his feet.

“Alright Beaky,” he said, rubbing the creature's flank, “Got enough rodents here?”

Buckbeak snorted and Sirius smiled. Then he remembered what day it was and his smile fell away. Today was the day that Peter destroyed everything, took everything from him. Sirius took a great shuddering breath in and steeled himself. He couldn't stay hidden up here all day.

So he gave Buckbeak one last pat on the side then strode over to the door, swinging it open and blinking in the bright sunshine that came streaming through from the window opposite. Sirius squinted then scowled: typical. Of course it would be sunny today of all days.

It shouldn't be sunny. It should be stormy and ominous and terrible, terrible like how he felt.

Then he heard singing and his dark mood intensified. Which bloody idiot member of the order was singing on this cursed stupid day?!

Sirius stomped down stairs to the floor below. The singing got louder, coming from one of the slightly ajar bedrooms. Sirius pushed the door open and stood, arms on hips, to face the culprit who was trying to be happy on today of all days.

It was Remus.

The other man was looking out of the bedroom's open window, singing to himself as he buttoned up his shirt. He hadn't noticed Sirius yet so Sirius kept quiet, listening and watching as the only person making his trapped existence worth a damn at the moment carried on paying no heed to the most dire of anniversaries.

“Moony.”

The cracked sound of his own voice surprised him and Remus turned round quickly, eyes widening and his content little smile broadening as he saw Sirius standing there.

“You're down,” he said and walked over, smile faltering slightly as Sirius continued to glower at him. “Is everything alright?”

“D'you know what day it is?” Sirius asked as Remus reached out to touch his arm, movement cautious, as though he approached a caged animal and not the man he was supposed to be apparently so in love with.

“The 31st of October.” Remus said and Sirius was enraged to see his lip quirk softly, as though there were a great joke Sirius hadn't been told about. He shook Remus's arm off and huffed.

“It's Halloween,” he bit out, “The anniversary of - ”

“ - when you first said I love you - ” Remus said just as Sirius finished the sentence with the far more ominous: “ - their deaths -”.

“Oh,” Remus said and his face crumpled. Sirius felt his heart speed up. _Oh._

“I forgot.”

“Me too.”

“You did?” Sirius asked, anger flaring uncontrollably as it so often did of late. He didn't like being caged up in this stupid house. “You forgot that this was the day James and Lily were murdered by Voldemort.”

Remus looked down, “It was also the day I lost you, or thought I did...” He swallowed, “Sometimes the nasty things aren't nice to remember, Padfoot.”

“No,” Sirius said and was angry to find himself crying. He felt stupid and absurd; a dark and terrible creature that could only remember bad things and never the good. Remus remembered this date so differently to him: Remus remembered it as a day of cherished memory: the day Sirius had told him he loved him.

“Sirius, come here.”

Remus's voice was soft, and so tender that Sirius simply couldn't disobey. He stumbled forwards and Remus held him close. Sirius took a deep breath in, trying to breathe through the sobs that threatened to overwhelm him: Remus smelt of parchment and used chocolate wrappers and, most importantly, of home. A real home: not this stupid house he could never seem to shake.

Home was Hogwarts when they were young and carefree, and so full of naïve optimism.

“I've got you Sirius,” Remus said, one hand tangling in his hair and the other wrapping around his lower back, “I've got you.”

“I remember that day,” Sirius said.

“I know you do,” Remus said, voice sad, “That was a terrible day.”

“No,” Sirius said, smiling despite himself, and he pulled back to look at the beautiful man before him. “The other day. When we had that Hogsmeade trip, and you slipped in the mud by the Three Broomsticks and refused to get back up till I apologised for laughing so hard I had a stitch.”

Remus smiled, and lifted a hand to Sirius's chin, stroking it so gently that Sirius felt his eyes flicker shut. _Moony._ He heard the soft movement of warm air from Remus's lips.

“And then you bought me a bar of Honeydukes finest to make up for it.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, eyes flicking open so he could stare at Remus. He was older now, with grey streaks in his hair and so many more scars on his handsome face; and there were lines about his eyes and his lips were already chapped from the encroaching autumn cold.

But he was the same boy who Sirius had pulled to one side as they exited the sweetshop that day, air cold and chill, autumn fully encroaching on their childhood summer, just like it was today.

“And then,” Remus said, moving his hand back to Sirius's hair and pulling him in close, “You drew me in like this.” He wrapped his arm more securely round Sirius's back, as though to demonstrate. “You leant in to my ear and whispered it.”

Remus did as he said, leaning over to Sirius's right ear, warm breath tickling. “I love you.”

Sirius smiled. He repeated the words back to Remus. “I love you.”

Remus chuckled and turned Sirius's head gently so that they were face to face, eye to eye, lips to lips. Then he kissed him.

The kiss back then, all those years ago between two seventeen year old boys, had still been slightly awkward, making up for its clumsiness only with the sheer enthusiasm they both had for each other.

Today was different. Remus was better and, Sirius hoped, he was better too.

Moony moved with slick rhythm and decisive intent. One hand was on Sirius's lower jaw as his tongue dipped into his mouth. Sirius sighed and matched him, hands tugging on his freshly-buttoned shirt to pull him in close.

After a while they pulled apart. Remus was grinning and Sirius felt elated, so stupidly happy, as though he were back in Hogsmeade having just declared his love for Remus in front of Honeydukes sweetshop, in full view of any and all passers by.

“You're amazing,” Sirius said, voice soft. He felt like he could breathe again, even though for the past few moments they'd been doing anything but. “You're so bloody amazing.”

Remus smiled, grin lopsided, “I know.”

And Sirius laughed and laughed, right until Remus shut him up again with another kiss.

Yes, Sirius thought, it was all very well remembering the nasty stuff. But remembering the nice, the good, the sheer sublime brilliant? Well. That took a whole different power: a power that Moony seemed to have buckets of.

Sirius pushed up into Remus and felt the other man smile against him.

Now this _this_ was worth remembering. Next year, Sirius decided, he'd wake up and think of this kiss, this moment, and this brilliant man who held him so firmly in his arms.

Because this was what life was all about.

And this moment, right now, was worth remembering.


End file.
